Will the real Slim Shady please stand up!

The next post comes from a friend of mine, let’s call him…. Doucheface.

Kidding, what a guy can’t make a joke on his own blog? Stop being so sensitive.

We’ll call him Hitched, for obvious reasons. Had a great idea for a post so i told him to write it up. Long story short, here it is.

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There is a type of male that can sometimes be confused with being Alpha. Let’s refer to him as the “Alpha Poser”.  We all know one or more of these guys.  I personally know of one in particular, in which led me to jot down a list of differences.

At first glance he appears Alpha. He can appear to be decisive, he can lead, he’s cocky, overly confident, and an asshole.  Many women will fall prey to this guy, confusing some of these qualities for the real deal.   However it doesn’t take long before his true self comes shinning through, and unless they are a perpetual victim they will be turned off by him. His Alpha persona is driven by his deep seeded insecurities, which is easily pushed aside when he is confronted or provoked.

Lets breakdown the differences between this type of male and a true alpha male:

ALPHA POSERS TRUE ALPHA
Hot headed Cool and aloof.  Not easily provoked
Leads by intimidation Inspires and attracts others, role model
Aggressive, with anger and physical intimidation Assertive, clearly stating his opinion without intimidation
His way or the highway. Angrily insists his way is best.  Rarely relaxed Creates his own destiny in life. Not afraid of failure. Flexible, rolls with the punches
Overly cocky. A complete dick. Easily bent out of shape if challenged, the “Caring Asshole” Confident and secure with himself and others. Detached from letting emotions run him, the “Uncaring Asshole”
Anti social for the most part unless the center of attention, in which he forces upon others. Hates people including himself Makes connections with people, is generous. Has a commanding presence in a room.
Is a “tribal threat”. Picks on other men and women. Is a bully. domineering Protects and leads the “tribe” leads by being naturally dominant. And the “tribe” in turns provide for his needs
Makes comments that make others uncomfortable Funny and charming, attractive to anyone
Outcome dependent Outcome independent

Clearly the Alpha male is dominant, having a position of dominance; it’s not related exclusively to a person, but also a positionthat one holds (figuratively ie: Body Language). The alpha male is dominant and doesn’t need to force anyone to do anything. They willingly submit to him.

The “Alpha Poser” is domineering. The term always refers to a person and used to describe that person’s actions.  Bullying is and example of domineering behaviour. It always has a negative connotation.

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3 responses to “Will the real Slim Shady please stand up!

  • Spacetraveller

    I’d say that a ‘real’ woman can tell the difference. What I call a ‘mature’ woman. Unfortunately, many young women are not mature. Not their fault, it just happened with feminism…

  • jbamai

    You bring up some great points here, Additionally, there maybe more to those salient observations you made. Perhaps its a cycle? Perhaps more than a few True Alphas started out as Alpha Posers and then transitioned into more secure Alphas either through being mentored or just the wisdom that comes with age.

  • Lost

    @ST
    Unfortunately the girlfriend(s) the guy that inspired this post all find out too late through emotional abuse. I’ve known him for quite some time and the cycle keeps repeating itself. They do seem like a great man to start off with, as they say love carries rose coloured glasses, but over time the true colours run through.

    @jbamai
    I think you might be right in some situations, you can’t rule out that that case may play out. Though the level of denial of the deep seated insecurities that these types of guys show makes it nearly impossible that they would “change” unless struck with some kind of epiphany through a very emotionally trying time. Such has been the case for what i have observed in life.

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