Cutting your Losses

Often, there comes a time where you need to cut your losses and turn your back on the girl you’ve been pursuing. This point can come within minutes or hours, or the point of no return can come months later.

The reason this is coming up, is because i am at one of these points right now with a girl i’ve been seeing. And i’ve been dragged far beyond my line of no return than i’d like to admit. I think the reason i let myself get to this point is two fold, one, i haven’t met a girl that i’ve meshed with mentally for a very long time, and i guess i got overly excited, two, we started it off so well, everything was text book and she was investing way more into me than i would into her and so on. I also indirectly broke her ankle and she still paid the rounds at the bar that very night.

I’m pretty sure my demised was sealed due to my work schedule when she ushered the words

“Every time you come back, it’s like i have to get to know you all over again.”

I should of probably seen it coming after that, the slight loss in interest, hindsight is after all 20/20, but i let it continue for a couple more turnarounds (the term we use to illustrate our time spent at home) when i should of just spent my time and energy towards other interests.

Though she still seems interested, its way below the level of interest i’d like it to be.

Live and learn, to have clear boundaries and the willpower to follow those without fail is my lesson for the month.

On a brighter note, one door closes 3 more open….. literally.

Later days

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12 responses to “Cutting your Losses

  • Spacetraveller

    Lost,

    I am sorry to hear of this.
    But I wonder, if this girl is so into you, should you let her go so fast?
    From what you say of her, she sounds like a keeper…
    So what if her interest cools a bit – it can’t be at 100% ALL the time, surely?

    I know you know what you are doing…just giving a female perspective…

    • Lost

      Oh don’t be sorry.

      The interest fizzled, but i think you are misunderstanding my term of cutting my losses, alls i’m saying is that she moved from near the front of the line to the backburner in my priority scale. Not out completely. Things and pick back up, just in the mean time, time and effort will go to other things that will pay higher dividends.

  • Spacetraveller

    Ah I see,

    But will she be privy to the information that she is not being dumped, just being ‘put on the back burner’ for a while?

  • Spacetraveller

    Isn’t this cruel and unfair?
    (Not meant as a reproach – a genuine question)

  • Spacetraveller

    In which case you were unfairly treated too, yes. But perhaps one of you has to be the first to stop the game of ‘cat and mouse’. She might be pleasantly surprised if you took the bold step and led her rather than leaving her to do this…
    I think ‘unexpected leadership’ in this manner is much appreciated by women. I know I do.

    • Lost

      Interesting point with the “leading” perspective. But like i said, i’m cutting my losses, not playing a game of “cat and mouse” i’m basically friendzoning her. Regardless, you’ve been in the “sphere” long enough to know that talk about how you feel is actually detrimental to your end goal……

      • Spacetraveller

        I don’t wish to pry into your private business, Lost. I am not advocating talk for the sake of talking. If by ‘friendzone’ you mean a permanent breakup, she deserves to know that. If you are just not sure whether this should be permanent, then fine, keep it vague until you are sure.
        A woman should be able to respect you even if you break up with her. If she herself is not honourable, she may learn something from you as a result of your actions…In this way, you are showing true leadership, which is frankly rare.

      • Lost

        Ask away, i seriously don’t mind. But your latest comment shows to me now why you are flustered.
        We weren’t in a relationship, we were casually dating. And after too many times that i crossed my own boundaries clinging to hope only to be let down with other girls in my youth, now i tend to not travel too far passed my point of no return boundary, and i cut my losses at an appropriate time. I don’t do the extreme hot/cold cat/mouse game, especially when i’m expected to constantly chase…..
        Now, if i was in a relationship with her, well that would be a different story, i’d tell her “hey listen here toots, its not you its me” and that whole spiel and then i’d move on, but in this situation this isn’t necessary.

      • Spacetraveller

        Lost, if by ‘casually dating’ you mean you were just sleeping with her from time to time, then as long as she also saw it for what it was, then fine. You probably did the right thing, at least for you.

  • Linkage is Good for You: Week of June 3, 2012

    […] Beta and Dogma”Danny from 504 – “Female Privilege”Lost – “Cutting Your Losses”Fearless – “I’m Not Gaming You, I Really Do Hate You”Finndistan […]

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