Welcome to the Land of Khaan

The Great Khan

Mongolia has always been a country that has fascinated me way back to my early childhood when i had to present a project on the great Chinggis Khan. So when i was given the opportunity to go work in this great country, I swallowed it up whole.

But i have to reverse a year or two ago, I read the Naughty Nomad’s review of Ulaan Baator and at the time was highly disappointed  Fast forward to when i accepted the position, I immediately thought of his article (Link Below) and i was hoping it wasn’t true, and that he had just had a fluke of a bad time.

Now that i’ve been here a reasonable amount of time (over a month) i can honestly say that i’m glad his article is only mostly right. His facts of the place is spot on, this place isn’t like anywhere you’ve ever experienced  the girls are bar none some of the best in the world, beer is only $2 and the Gran Khan Irish Pub does serve some pretty good food. But that’s where the similarities end in my personal experience.

There are only two people that matter in this country, Chinggis Kahn and Sukhbaatar, remember that.

Let’s start with the daily life. Traffic in UB is absolutely chaotic, throw in a few inches of snow and you have a living nightmare, it is surprising to see the shear amount of high priced cars rolling around as well as the lack of vehicular accidents, i’d say about 95% of cars don’t even have a dent in them. All this makes crossing roads one hell of a sport. Usually you take it one lane at a time with cars, trucks and buses passing by at mere centimeters from you. The first few day this really makes your adrenaline pumping. Food is generally good if you stay with my western cuisine restaurants. Although Mongolian cuisine isn’t bad, it does get some getting used to if you aren’t into eating horse, tongues or livers. That being said most of the downtown area, especially south of Sukhbaatar Square, is pretty expat friendly and it is where you’ll find most of the western cuisine restaurants. Service in restaurants can be lacking, you really have to go old school and wave over the servers, though the service you do get is good, and food generally take a while to get to you, so plan on being there a while and downing a good 2 beers before you food arrives. Though meals are cheaper than what you are used to, prices have still risen by 60% since 2007 which is generally really expensive for the locals.

The city has a great mix of Traditional, Soviet and Western Architecture and seeing it all come together is kind a unique experience. Though there are a few things to look out for in UB. Avoid man holes at all costs, locals steal man hole covers to bring the metal to the scrap yard for cash, the holes can then get filled with rain water and if you aren’t watching out, down you go, or also the covers can just give way and again, down you go. Avoid taking taxis, there are just one good company in the city that wont try to rip you off and i forget the name of the company. The rest will try their hardest to screw you and most don’t have meters to keep track. But as a general rule if they ask you to pay anything close to 20,000T or more they are ripping you off. Never take the bus…. lots of pick pockets on the buses. Watch where you keep your money, there are a lot of pick pockets in town and they are resourceful and feisty. A girl i know was taking the bus and she kept the zipper buckle of her purse close to her and in few at all times, the pickpocket was still able to open the “non openable” side of her purse and steal her wallet. If you see someone being pick pocketed, keep you mouth shut, warning the person he’s is about to get mugged is a sure way to get to the hospital. Different pickpocket gangs work different districts of the city, the cops know about all this but there is hardly anything they can do about it, or just wont do about it. Stay away from stray dogs… there are a ton of stray dogs and a lot of them have rabies. Also, stay away from the Russian district… this one is self explanatory.

Ya, that’ll save you

Let’s move on to the night life. The Orange bar…. well not much to say about this one, go there if you want to see boobs. The Grand Khan is definitely the expat hangout of choice and gets pretty lively at nights, i’ve had no problems going there alone and just meeting, sitting and drinking with random groups of people, expats and nationals alike. Though you’ll find most expats at the GK, there is still a good amount of local girls that frequent this pub as well. There is a nightclub in the basement of the Central Tower downtown just south, i was there for a bit but quickly left as it’s really not my style. Though if you are into that kind of thing, i’m sure you’ll enjoy yourself. Casablanca’s is another expat hot spot, it just isn’t happening there anymore. But it has some of the best pizza in town.

This is called having 30 Human Power

As for girls, i’ve never been into asian girls, but Mongolian girls aren’t just asian girls. They have a great a great mix to them and quite a bit of diversity in their body and facial characteristics. Some lean more towards a white, Russian look with a nice sprinkle of asian while other do look more Chinese. But there is a great variety of skin tone and hair, from the frizzy to the straight. What they all have in common though is their big high cheek bones. There are also no really fat or obese girls here. Some of the fattest girls i’ve seen are a western chubby at most. Though this doesn’t automatically make them all beautiful, just the odds are there. I have found them all to be really open and approachable with complete lack of a bitch shield. My best most successful pick up line here, “Hi.” And thats everywhere, the bar, the store, the street… they are all more than happy to chit chat with you. They do err on the side of caution and take about a week to really warm up to you, but when they get there they are more than willing to knock boots with you. Getting laid here isn’t hard at all. A part of that might be due to hypergamy as expats here make considerably more than the nationals and are generally in the positions of power. The women here haven’t been ruined by the bowels of feminism yet. For them feminism is going out and smoking pot or smokes as the older generation women look down upon that kind of behavior. They keep themselves up and take pride in their appearance, as well, they are surprisingly fashionable. They are pretty submissive, subservient and very feminine. They are the best Asia has to offer.

The men here to get jealous of you hitting on their women, they are kind of over protective that way. But generally speaking i haven’t had any issues with any of them and they usually are pretty friendly.

The people in rural Mongolia are even more friendly. Regular city friendliness times 100.

Its an absolutely gorgeous country, you should all come check it out yourselves.

And remember this. That massage place in the basement of your hotel…. ya it’s a rub n tug. And if you ask they’ll do more then just tug.

Looking towards not quite downtown

Links

The Naughty Nomad – Ulaan Baator