The “Real” Date

Oh as i was stretching my blogging legs and wondering what to write about i was reading Aneroidocean’s latest post Frailty. He mentioned at the end of the post how one of the girls he’s seeing a validation of commitment. This reminded me of a quick exchange i had in the not so distant past circa 2011.

After finishing a nice romp in the sack with a girl i was seeing at the time, i was just about to fall asleep until i hear.

Girl: So when are you going to take me on a real date.

Me: What are you talking about?

G: You know, go out in public, watch a movie go for diner.

M: I work out of town, when i come back i don’t like the hassle of more restaurants and hitting the town.

G: But you go to the pub with the guys.

M: That’s right

G: All we do is have sex.

M: What are you talking about, we went out and had a date our first time together.

G: That wasn’t a date, i paid for all your drinks.

M: So.

G: I just want to go out on a real date where you treat me.

M: …….

G: Fine, no sex until i get a real day.

M: Fine.

I turnaround and passed out. 6 am the next morning i was gone and i’ve never spoken to her again. I can tolerate a lot of shit, but that’s one thing i definitely do not tolerate, the “no sex” threat. My mom always told me “Lost, as soon as a women threatens you with no sex, kick her to the curb.” Now thats the soundest piece of advice i’ve ever received from a woman.

It just goes to show, that sooner or later they all look to put that commitment stamp on it, whatever means necessary.

Cutting your Losses

Often, there comes a time where you need to cut your losses and turn your back on the girl you’ve been pursuing. This point can come within minutes or hours, or the point of no return can come months later.

The reason this is coming up, is because i am at one of these points right now with a girl i’ve been seeing. And i’ve been dragged far beyond my line of no return than i’d like to admit. I think the reason i let myself get to this point is two fold, one, i haven’t met a girl that i’ve meshed with mentally for a very long time, and i guess i got overly excited, two, we started it off so well, everything was text book and she was investing way more into me than i would into her and so on. I also indirectly broke her ankle and she still paid the rounds at the bar that very night.

I’m pretty sure my demised was sealed due to my work schedule when she ushered the words

“Every time you come back, it’s like i have to get to know you all over again.”

I should of probably seen it coming after that, the slight loss in interest, hindsight is after all 20/20, but i let it continue for a couple more turnarounds (the term we use to illustrate our time spent at home) when i should of just spent my time and energy towards other interests.

Though she still seems interested, its way below the level of interest i’d like it to be.

Live and learn, to have clear boundaries and the willpower to follow those without fail is my lesson for the month.

On a brighter note, one door closes 3 more open….. literally.

Later days

STOP! And Listen.

You know, if you just listen, stop everything you do and just take the time to listen every once in a while, women will reveal to you what they truly want in a man and a relationship without any of that feminazi propaganda.

Surfing random blogs lately i found this gem from a female blogger “The Dandy Gal,” an older post, but still carries a valuable lesson.

In her post she lamented how a certain man she was seeing never took the lead and be a man so to speak. Here’s the SMS conversation she posted with her notes

Him: Free tomorrow?

Me: Ok. You are not working?

Him: Should be.

Me: Ok. Let me know again. I should be free after 4pm.

Him: What do you feel like doing? [strike 1. if you ask me out, you better have a good plan]

Me: I don’t know. We’ll talk when you confirm that you can meet.

Him: Arh? Can’t we discuss it now?

Me: I’m lazy to plan for something that may not happen. Why not you decide instead?

Him: I’ll leave it to u. [strike 2]

Me: I don’t like guys who push decisions to girls. Very un-manly.

Him: I’m really easy-going. You can decide. [strike 3]

Me: I don’t mean that as a compliment. I don’t know why guys are exchanging roles with girls. They want girls to make decisions now. Sigh.

Him: It’s ok. Haha. Whatever. [gone case!]

There’s nothing i can add to help elaborate the texts, its all clear in plain black and white. I think she’s from south east asia, which explains her rather un-orthodox english.

In her post she goes on…

I don’t know why he added those smiley faces. It irritates me even more.

Someone should just knock some sense into men. It’s NOT the first time that I’ve accounted such wishy-washy nonsense with a human that has a dick.

What is happening???

Get this clear. No matter how independent a lady is, she still need aMAN. Not aWIMP.

She’s quite deliberately, against the shrieks of all feminazies in the world, revealing what turns women on.

It’s an age old concept in the halls of blogs like mine, but it never hurts to be reminded of the little things, the fundamentals

You could go through Roissy’s AKA Chateau and find some gems in how to text like a man, Here’s one

Unshakable Frame

So Keith Apicary went and tried out to be some singer’s backing dancer. This guy has an unshakable frame, everything he does, it doesn’t matter what, the people around him wish they’d have his confidence.

You can see in it in the video, he commands the room, everyone cannot keep their eyes off of him, the girls want to be with him and the guys want to be him, this is what game and frame control looks like. You can see his looks are sub-par, so if he can do it, anyone can….. you have no excuse.

Now Enjoy!

http://thechive.com/2012/04/03/there-is-nothing-about-keith-apicarys-music-video-audition-that-is-not-awesome-video/

since i apparently can’t embed videos

http://thechive.com/2012/04/03/there-is-nothing-about-keith-apicarys-music-video-audition-that-is-not-awesome-video/

Camp life… How NOT to go about it.

Oh the lovely setting of camp life, the scenery, the wildlife, the birds chirping and a massive amount of construction equipment making a racket everywhere. It’s a perfect time to work on yourself while you’re away from the prying eyes of society.

But i know what you are thinking, “But i work 12 hours a day and i have no energy to hit the gym and eat right.”

WRONG!

Let me tell you a little slice of my life. I was once like you. You see, in 3 weeks i managed to gain enough weight that i had to travel home in work clothes because i have purposely bought them bigger in order to be more comfortable at work. Imagine my surprise when i tried to slip into my jeans only to find out they don’t pass my fat thighs, fat hips and fat ass, and i’m a hockey player, we’re used to having larger than normal thighs hips and ass…… I was ashamed. I was even more ashamed when my parents were telling me out right that i was fat, and my friend told me i “filled in those jeans quite well”

At least i was born with good genes, and i’ve always been athletic, so i shaved the weight i had gained in a matter of a month after i headed back to school.

How did i manage to get so morbidly obese? Easy. I skipped breakfast, i would take a LARGE brown paper lunch bag and fill it with brownies, pastries and cookies….. i would even get mad when people would asked me for a cookie during the day. The bag was filled to the brim and i couldn’t fold the top in order to carry it, instead i had to carry it in my arms like a 20 lbs baby. After work i’d devour 3 plates of food from our all you can eat buffet. I’d then plop down in front of the tv and fall asleep.

I’d tell myself, “OK tonight i’m starting to workout, no excuses” but when the time came i’d make lame excuses like i was too tired or i would just fall asleep. The lazier i became, the lazier i got…. its a vicious fucking cycle.

Fast forward to the next summer, thankfully my family and friends shamed the fuck out of me for being fat… well fatter, as i hadn’t ever broken the 200lbs milestone.

I was determined to workout and eat right. As easy as it is to eat unhealthy in place where food and prepared for you, it’s also incredibly easy to eat right. Watching my portions required thought, and hitting the gym, at first, required a bit more effort. but here is the kicker. Them more you go to the gym, the more stamina and energy you have to be able to hit the gym… now that is a wonderful cycle, as it gets to the point where you are looking forward to destroy yourself while working out… not to mention sleeping gets better and more refreshing.

I know i know, working away from home gives one giant excuse to be lazy….. DON’T… this is the time to revamp yourself. Because apart from that… what else are you going to do, it’s not like you can go out on a “night on the town”

So the question is, do you want to be like me and get fat, or do you want to be like me and reinvent yourself.

If you’re reading this blog, i think the answer is obvious.

Calling her “Boss” will dry up her clam!

I had an interesting conversation with an old work friend of mine, she’s one of the few that gets it, so we often talk about social dynamics and biomechanics while giving examples of our everyday lives.

On day she tells me: “Lost, I hate when guys talk and refer to us as their ‘Boss.’ I’m not your boss, i never want to be your boss, do you have any how much of a turn off that is?”

I couldn’t help but laugh a little, she’s right. I remembered a time back in my youth when i always referred a girl i was dating as the “Boss” things inevitably went south pretty quick, at first she took it lightly, sort of as a joke, but as time progressed, she was getting more and more put off by it to the point of starting arguments which carried a tone of resentment. I had failed as a man, i had failed to lead her in our relationship, to take the reigns so to speak. I had no idea of this phenomena, i always thought to myself “what? isn’t that what women want? to be in control and lead their own lives?”

Obviously i had more problems than just calling her the boss, since i was actively living behind that mantra. “I don’t know. What do you want to do?” Sounds familiar?

There is an important lesson to learn from all of this though, is that it never hurts to take charge in a relationship, to lead the way, just don’t stop leading.

The End of Civilization

Alright, since i’m lazy towards this blog and it takes me such a while to post any current events that they are now old news, i’m finally jumping on this Anti-Tawkify bandwaggon.

I’m not even going to give the site satisfaction by linking to it.

So you should all know the premise of this site by now. Old over the hill with nothing to offer in a relationship who rode the cock carousel serial monogamy and now are all used up and want to settle down with an Alpha they don’t deserve entitled princesses who are all special little snow flakes Women join free with the promise of have a silver platter of potential betas suitors ripe for the picking. The men go on the website, answer a few question including income and send in a picture of themselves to this matchmaker behind the scenes, the men pay for this privileged. The women in turn select their best suitor by laughing at seriously examining every aspect of said potential suitors. The chosen suitor then receives a phone call the following Monday and has a strict 7 minutes to impress the princess woman who has chosen him. Here’s the kicker, the men aren’t allowed to know anything about the woman who chose them nor how she looks like…… guaranteed the girl on the other line is a land whale.

Imagine if the reverse were true. We all know it would never take off and today’s women love to have their cake and eat it too. (Which is what has made them all land whales to start off with.

Land Whale wants more cake!

I don’t know about you but shit like this really grinds my gears. To quote Rodney Dangerfield: “I get no respect.” And this is exactly what this does to the beta chumps men who apply, it automatically assumes they are all criminals and it gives none of them an ounce of respect.

Part of it is our own fault, if we’d all stop drooling like a 2nd grader who’s seen his first set of boobs after finding his dad’s Playboy stache whenever we have a slight glimmer of hope that we’re going to get laid, if we were all suave as fuck, cool as a motherfucking cucumber, this shit would probably not happen. But instead there are probably tens of thousands of us that would gladly dish out however much Tawkify charges to have the honour the be trampled on and degraded.

“So Lost, tell me how you really feel.”

This is NOT who's on the other end when receiving a Tawkify phone call

if you want to learn more, there is nothing i can say here that hasn’t already been said elsewhere, so here are the links:

• In MalaFide
• The Private Man
• Bronan the Barbarian
• Fly Fresh and Young
• Chef in Jeans
• Rollo Tomassi
• Micheal Byc
• Amateur Strategist
• The Geographer
• Ian Ironwood
• Scatmaster
• Robert Stump
• J. DeVoy
• Omega Man
• Invictus III
• BeijaFlor
• Denis Mangan
• Paul Murray
• Leap of a Beta

Here’s what you do — add a link to this post on your blog that looks like this:

Tawkify

Hell, you can just copy and paste that onto your blog. Even better, write your own post discombobulating Tawkify. The more articles explaining why Tawkify is a reeking sewer, the better. When your post is up, let me know and I’ll add a link to it here. It is time for the manosphere to unite for a good cause, the cause of making the comfortable uncomfortable. The cause of Fucking Their Shit Up. To victory!

When Crazy Goes Overboard

Some people have a hard time grasping the concept of going no contact, and how it work on girls that have some interest on you.

Well here’s an extreme example, you can read the entire conversation HERE, or listen to goofballs narrate it by clicking HERE

Now let this be a lesson to all of you.

Sound bite link: http://m.soundcloud.com/vaughan-1-1/this-is-what-crazy-looks-like

Picture link: http://www.buzzfeed.com/hgrant/this-is-what-crazy-looks-like-via-text-messaging

 

Realization – To be or not to be

I came to a stark realization a few weeks ago after a particular date.

I was set up by a friend and therefore got some great feedback into the psyche of the female brain after i take them out. Some of which were exectly what i wanted to hear, what were meant to be insults were actually great compliments. Other things were just the laments of the 30 some year old entitled princess about to hit the wall, if she hasn’t already, i got a glimpse as to why at her age she isn’t married/LTR nor have any kids. Dodged that bullet, gotta love gossiping friends!

But this feedback reveled to me the disappointing fact why “dates” per se haven’t been working for me as of late.

You see when i first started to learn about Game and all its wonderful intricacies, i failed to accurately determine at which point on the scale i was starting off at. There’s the advice floating in the manosphere to “not be yourself” and “be the man you should be” – Great advice if you’re a man starting at or near the bottom of the barrel. I apparently wasn’t starting near the bottom, and i took that advice seriously.

In turn, i was behaving too strongly, too one sided and one dimension, i didn’t have the right balance. I have now come to the realization that i used to have more of that “right balance.” With the feedback (gossip) that i’ve heard, and putting the pieces together, i noticed when i wasn’t putting up that front of not being myself, i had more successful interactions with people around me with every day affairs (haircuts – Bank services – Government services – etc.), So metaphorically speaking, a light went off and it all became clear to me.

It definitely showed an immense difference when a week later i took a different girl out, i toned it down, and became more myself. The night was 100% more successful, and things flowed as it should. She’s excited when i make contact and the likes.

Looks like this only happened while on dates since i was consciously behaving a certain way, amping up different aspects, and experimenting.

I’m going back to my old, albeit more refined, behavior.

Lesson learned: Know where you initially stand before taking advice to the maximum.

Never admit to having a bad day.

This is a golden rule i see broken time and time again. It most recently really pissed me off when i witnessed my roomate (god bless his little beta heart) tell this really cute girl how bad his day has been and how depressed he is about it. Her sweet expression on her face disappeared as he totally nullified any chance of sleeping with her. Since I’ve been trying to coach him into being a better man, it was like receiving one swift kick of ingratitude to the balls.

You see when someone asks you how your day is, the majority of the time they don’t give a fuck what the reality is, it’s a courtesy question and nothing more. If you are answering in a negative and depressing way, you also drag the mood of that conversation at the same level of your depressive state, therefore initiating a bad conversation and assuring the continuation of your bad day.

Now adversely, if you put your petty emotions aside and respond in a positive way, your subsequent conversation will most likely also be positive, helping you turn your day around for the better. You don’t have to become ridiculously cheering, but a simple “Good” will do the job.

Imagine for a minute you’re in the reverse situation, you are having a decent or even a good day and you strike up a conversation with someone, would you want to hear how horrible their day is? Of course you wouldn’t, it’s a drag and brings your mood down as well, maybe even start feeling resentment towards that person, and you’ll just want to tell them to shut the fuck up! Always think how you would react if someone were a certain way with you, and if it’s not a positive reaction, then don’t be that way towards others. Like the old saying goes, “fake it ’til you make it”

You are the masters of your own happiness.