Slumping It Up!

Slumps….

Yes slumps…we all have them… No question that at one point in time in your life, you’ll start to slump, whether it be work, gym or girls. I was in such a predicament earlier this year. Seemed not much was going my way and besides the old faithfuls, i wasn’t getting any new pussy. These are the times that separate the men from the wannabies.

Getting out of a slump is easy said, but it does take a moral and emotional toll, the best way i found to get through those is a change of scenery, a mental reboot. Go camping, road trip, sun destination, change work locations, ski weekends, surf weekends, whatever gets you out of your routine, your day to day life and a bit of your comfort zone. Use this time to relax, do things you want to do alone or with a select few you want to do it with. try to avoid big groups of people, this is “You” time and use it to reconnect yourself. Literally this reboots you brain, cleans the dust off your motherboard and adds more RAM if you will. I won’t delve into the psychology of it all, i like to keep my posts short clean and simple, but fuck, when did doing your body mind and soul good become an exact science anyway.

You just got to buckle down, don’t sweat it and live life for you and the rest will figure itself out. And rebooting yourself is just one great tool to get out of a slump. Remember the best things come when you aren’t searching for it. Searching makes you desperate, if you make it a passive goal to achieve, where everything you do has a positive effect on achieving this side goal, in no time this goal will have been achieved.

In the end YOU are the goal, everything else are just peripherals.

Patience, or Lack Thereof

You can never underestimate the lack of patience in today’s society. An apparent fact that becomes all too real every so often.

This happens often in today’s day and age as our instant world shoves instant products in our mouths in order to get instant gratification. As a society we’ve lost all patience for anything that doesn’t happen right now, which have also made us lose appreciation for pretty much all things in life. With today’s computers giving us answers and information sought in nano seconds, and the media and advertisements selling us products to make every task as fast as possible, with instant coffee, instant messaging, fast food and ATM machines we’ve become accustomed to getting everything we want right fucking now at any moment in any day at a simple whim. Multitasking to the extreme, face hundreds of problems and solve hundreds other problems every day. This have shattered the collective patience of our society, and if by some chance we cannot get what we want right fucking now, we get mad, lose patience and move on to the next thing that’ll give us that same or similar gratification.

Which brings me to my next point.

Every so often, i return home from a long business trip, only to realize the girl i was seeing had “moved on.” Moved on? Really? In only 2, 3, 7 or 14 days? Apparently so. Which raises a conundrum for men in my situation. The general consensus is that courting girls requires time and patience as you don’t want to appear desperate. If i don’t push a little she quickly looses patience and moves on to something that is more “right now” yet if i do push a little harder in order to get more of a bond to last over a business trip i get labelled as desperate. Therefore finding the right balance is key, i find, and to achieve this i’ve noticed that what i chose to do with her directly affects where i stand in her scale of desperate/interesting/waste of time. Personally i’ve had to find things that would make us share a greater intellectual/emotional bond, this would allow me not to press her to spend more time together, and it would keep her interest levels high enough to last through long business trips.

Experiment with different activities, and find your sweet spot.

The “Real” Date

Oh as i was stretching my blogging legs and wondering what to write about i was reading Aneroidocean’s latest post Frailty. He mentioned at the end of the post how one of the girls he’s seeing a validation of commitment. This reminded me of a quick exchange i had in the not so distant past circa 2011.

After finishing a nice romp in the sack with a girl i was seeing at the time, i was just about to fall asleep until i hear.

Girl: So when are you going to take me on a real date.

Me: What are you talking about?

G: You know, go out in public, watch a movie go for diner.

M: I work out of town, when i come back i don’t like the hassle of more restaurants and hitting the town.

G: But you go to the pub with the guys.

M: That’s right

G: All we do is have sex.

M: What are you talking about, we went out and had a date our first time together.

G: That wasn’t a date, i paid for all your drinks.

M: So.

G: I just want to go out on a real date where you treat me.

M: …….

G: Fine, no sex until i get a real day.

M: Fine.

I turnaround and passed out. 6 am the next morning i was gone and i’ve never spoken to her again. I can tolerate a lot of shit, but that’s one thing i definitely do not tolerate, the “no sex” threat. My mom always told me “Lost, as soon as a women threatens you with no sex, kick her to the curb.” Now thats the soundest piece of advice i’ve ever received from a woman.

It just goes to show, that sooner or later they all look to put that commitment stamp on it, whatever means necessary.

Top Dog

Are talk-radio hosts more Alpha than most?

I’ve been on a talk-radio binge lately, tuning into the “Sirius Stars Too” channel on, you guessed it, Sirius satellite radio, interestingly enough i’ve always previously thought talk-radio was a complete waste of time. Why would anyone listen to random people rant about useless shit that’ll never affect my life. Let’s just say i still haven’t changed my mind, but my routine at work needed to be changed a little.

So listening to these bozos talk, Jason Ellis, Covino, Rich and Jay Thomas, i noticed they all had one recurring theme,  they all sounded Alpha as fuck, and treated everyone around them as lesser beings, especially the callers.

Jay Thomas called his woman co-worker “plump” and proceeds to tell her she eats all the wrong things.

Covino called a woman caller entitled, and asks her if she always had a princess attitude.

And Jason is just Jason, hyper dominant.

All this led me to think, are men talk-radio hosts more Alpha than the rest of us. One has to wonder are naturally they are on the radio, or if it’s all an act in order the get more listeners. I’m sure some of it, if not a majority of it is, but they do get some pretty retarded and nasty callers, therefore there has to be some natural Alphaness in there to deal with these kinds of people, i would assume.

I don’t think it’s possible to have a radio persona that goes completely opposite of you natural self outside the radio and at home. But on the other hand i don’t think being the way they are on the radio would fly with most friends and loved ones.

Anyways i’m rambling on. I guess if you want a good example on assholish retorts, how not to take anyone seriously, frame control and general conversational Alphaness, listen to talk-radio.

What do you guys think?

Dating a Feminist

My brother is dating a hardcore hipsterish feminist. An attractive woman that has previously sworn off relationship and companionship in order to get rich, preferably by marrying an old rich dude. I avoid all gender conversations except for the occasional slip up, in which case i just stop talking and get on with whatever a was doing. There is no point in arguing anything.

Recently i went out for breakfast with my brother and his girl and afterwards ditched the girl and spent a day with my brother. While driving around i asked him.

Me: How is dating a feminist.

Brother: The sex is great.

And that was it, nothing more needed to be said on that subject. You see my brother is also somewhat of a natural (i blame our common upbringing) that got headbutted into the right direction after a series of unfortunate events regarding his ex, even after he had done everything “right.”

So after reflecting on his answer and his actions, or lack there of, towards his current partner, it all made sense. Her viewpoint on feminism doesn’t bother him because he doesn’t care to hear it, and never treads those waters. He keeps conversation light and teases her constantly and never takes her seriously. She would parade him to family and friends and tout him as her boyfriend, my brother would turn around and never mention her to my family. He does everything the “Game” way. Though he doesn’t buy/care about all the stuff we cover here on all our blogs, he sure made the realization and is living with the core principles.

The funny thing is, she, on the hand, has started to become what she despises…. a dependent, a girlfriend… a woman. Though she still bucks and talks all tough, she sure doesn’t act like it anymore, chanting her convictions during the day, and playing the “wife” at night. I find it amusing how willingly she became this way after having a taste of a real man.

And…..

I can’t help but being proud of my little brother.

STOP! And Listen.

You know, if you just listen, stop everything you do and just take the time to listen every once in a while, women will reveal to you what they truly want in a man and a relationship without any of that feminazi propaganda.

Surfing random blogs lately i found this gem from a female blogger “The Dandy Gal,” an older post, but still carries a valuable lesson.

In her post she lamented how a certain man she was seeing never took the lead and be a man so to speak. Here’s the SMS conversation she posted with her notes

Him: Free tomorrow?

Me: Ok. You are not working?

Him: Should be.

Me: Ok. Let me know again. I should be free after 4pm.

Him: What do you feel like doing? [strike 1. if you ask me out, you better have a good plan]

Me: I don’t know. We’ll talk when you confirm that you can meet.

Him: Arh? Can’t we discuss it now?

Me: I’m lazy to plan for something that may not happen. Why not you decide instead?

Him: I’ll leave it to u. [strike 2]

Me: I don’t like guys who push decisions to girls. Very un-manly.

Him: I’m really easy-going. You can decide. [strike 3]

Me: I don’t mean that as a compliment. I don’t know why guys are exchanging roles with girls. They want girls to make decisions now. Sigh.

Him: It’s ok. Haha. Whatever. [gone case!]

There’s nothing i can add to help elaborate the texts, its all clear in plain black and white. I think she’s from south east asia, which explains her rather un-orthodox english.

In her post she goes on…

I don’t know why he added those smiley faces. It irritates me even more.

Someone should just knock some sense into men. It’s NOT the first time that I’ve accounted such wishy-washy nonsense with a human that has a dick.

What is happening???

Get this clear. No matter how independent a lady is, she still need aMAN. Not aWIMP.

She’s quite deliberately, against the shrieks of all feminazies in the world, revealing what turns women on.

It’s an age old concept in the halls of blogs like mine, but it never hurts to be reminded of the little things, the fundamentals

You could go through Roissy’s AKA Chateau and find some gems in how to text like a man, Here’s one

Unshakable Frame

So Keith Apicary went and tried out to be some singer’s backing dancer. This guy has an unshakable frame, everything he does, it doesn’t matter what, the people around him wish they’d have his confidence.

You can see in it in the video, he commands the room, everyone cannot keep their eyes off of him, the girls want to be with him and the guys want to be him, this is what game and frame control looks like. You can see his looks are sub-par, so if he can do it, anyone can….. you have no excuse.

Now Enjoy!

http://thechive.com/2012/04/03/there-is-nothing-about-keith-apicarys-music-video-audition-that-is-not-awesome-video/

since i apparently can’t embed videos

http://thechive.com/2012/04/03/there-is-nothing-about-keith-apicarys-music-video-audition-that-is-not-awesome-video/

The Art of Wet Shaving

 Hitched is an aficionado of good old fashioned wet shaving, so i told him to write a post about it. Find it after the jump.

What we have to remember is to take time and pleasure in the little things in life, everything today is rushed, and we lose sight of what’s really important, life and living, pleasure and happiness.

What the Manly Essence is all about is to take back the small pleasures in the daily grind.

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I remember as a kid, being mesmerized watching my dad in front of the bathroom sink and mirror with shaving cream on his face, razor in hand, effortlessly cleaning the whiskers off his face. Even more so was the day I watched my grandfather shave with his little mug, and brush and thick creamy foam overflowing over the top and him using a gorgeous chrome razor to shave.  The smell, the sound..and how it just seemed to be such an important part of their day.

As part of the series of manly activities, lets talk about wet shaving.

The Shaving Ritual, why rush it?

Shaving began losing its appeal the moment it started being treated in a “fast food” sort of fashion. Companies that sell convenience do so by treating the shave as something unpleasant that needs to be dealt with quickly. It doesn’t need to be so, and there’s nothing convenient about a second-rate shave. Advertising offering more and more blades on a razor and alcohol filled gels from aerosol cans have taken the ritual out of shaving and turned it into a burden. As far as electric shavers go…that’s just lazy and the shave truly is sub-par.

Fortunately, men the world over have started to rediscover not only the efficiency but the pleasure of an old-style wet shave. As with all other things, we take pride in doing and time to accomplish and master, wet shaving grants us benefits that outlast a smooth face. The morning shave becomes a time of solace and relaxation. A tradition to be passed on to our sons. A better way to start our day.

Elements of a Classic Shave

The secret to wet shaving is getting yourself a good double-edge razor or straight razor, shaving soap or cream and a shaving brush. Different people prefer different razors and with time you will find the one that works best for you. For starters a medium size, moderately priced, new razor will do the job. I personally use a double edge razor similar to what was common from the 1930’s till the mid 1960’s.

Buy shaving soap or cream from a reputable manufacturer. When you buy from an old English barbershop with 200 years of experience there’s no way to go wrong. As you develop your preferences you can start to experiment with newer brands. If you care for what goes into your shaving products, and ultimately your face and body, you might want to consider shaving soaps over creams because they have fewer preservatives. They also last longer. Stay away from the aerosol type gels and foams, they tend to be full of alcohol and actually dry out your face while you use them.

The shaving brush is the pivotal element of wet shaving. . The brush will massage and exfoliate your skin and the motion required to apply the soap will also lift your hair, preparing if for the shave. For a scrubbier feeling try a brush made of pure or best badger, for a soft touch super badger or silver tip will do the trick.  Trust me on this one, you will love how this works compared to rubbing cream on your face with your hands.

The Learning Curve

As with anything new to you, there will be a learning curve.  If trying a straight razor, it literally can cut through your jugular vein fast and painless as can be, so take your time and be gentle. Your face will thank you. If a double edged razor or safety razor as some call it is your choice, as mine is, there is as well a learning  curve to keeping your face in good shape.  Learning how to get a good lather with your cream or soap, learning to apply it and learning to slow things down and make multiple passes in the right direction are all part of this ritual. In time your morning (or evening as is the case with me) can easily take half hour or more. But why rush?  This is your face after all!

A Better Shave

A lot of us discovered wet shaving while looking for a way to deal with a tough and coarse beard. Wet shaving is not about being a snob, and certainly not a trend or fashion. It is a tradition that has outlasted fads, “revolutionary” solutions and any amount of blades held on plastic contraptions. Wet shaving is simply about a better shave with less irritation and fewer ingrown hairs. An old style double-edge razor or straight razor won’t pull the hairs and cut them below the level of the skin as is the case with multi-blade cartridges, therefore taking better care of your skin and your beard. Also, with an old style safety razor you have the luxury of choosing the sharpness of the blade; so you can find the one that fits you best. With the straight blade (cut throat) razors you can also sharpen the blade to your liking. So it all comes down to control, comfort and noticeably better results.

You will love the feel of your face, you will feel better having taken the time to properly shave…and women will love to touch your face! Best of all, you will keep the manly ritual of shaving your face a pleasure….not a burden.

Calling her “Boss” will dry up her clam!

I had an interesting conversation with an old work friend of mine, she’s one of the few that gets it, so we often talk about social dynamics and biomechanics while giving examples of our everyday lives.

On day she tells me: “Lost, I hate when guys talk and refer to us as their ‘Boss.’ I’m not your boss, i never want to be your boss, do you have any how much of a turn off that is?”

I couldn’t help but laugh a little, she’s right. I remembered a time back in my youth when i always referred a girl i was dating as the “Boss” things inevitably went south pretty quick, at first she took it lightly, sort of as a joke, but as time progressed, she was getting more and more put off by it to the point of starting arguments which carried a tone of resentment. I had failed as a man, i had failed to lead her in our relationship, to take the reigns so to speak. I had no idea of this phenomena, i always thought to myself “what? isn’t that what women want? to be in control and lead their own lives?”

Obviously i had more problems than just calling her the boss, since i was actively living behind that mantra. “I don’t know. What do you want to do?” Sounds familiar?

There is an important lesson to learn from all of this though, is that it never hurts to take charge in a relationship, to lead the way, just don’t stop leading.

The End of Civilization

Alright, since i’m lazy towards this blog and it takes me such a while to post any current events that they are now old news, i’m finally jumping on this Anti-Tawkify bandwaggon.

I’m not even going to give the site satisfaction by linking to it.

So you should all know the premise of this site by now. Old over the hill with nothing to offer in a relationship who rode the cock carousel serial monogamy and now are all used up and want to settle down with an Alpha they don’t deserve entitled princesses who are all special little snow flakes Women join free with the promise of have a silver platter of potential betas suitors ripe for the picking. The men go on the website, answer a few question including income and send in a picture of themselves to this matchmaker behind the scenes, the men pay for this privileged. The women in turn select their best suitor by laughing at seriously examining every aspect of said potential suitors. The chosen suitor then receives a phone call the following Monday and has a strict 7 minutes to impress the princess woman who has chosen him. Here’s the kicker, the men aren’t allowed to know anything about the woman who chose them nor how she looks like…… guaranteed the girl on the other line is a land whale.

Imagine if the reverse were true. We all know it would never take off and today’s women love to have their cake and eat it too. (Which is what has made them all land whales to start off with.

Land Whale wants more cake!

I don’t know about you but shit like this really grinds my gears. To quote Rodney Dangerfield: “I get no respect.” And this is exactly what this does to the beta chumps men who apply, it automatically assumes they are all criminals and it gives none of them an ounce of respect.

Part of it is our own fault, if we’d all stop drooling like a 2nd grader who’s seen his first set of boobs after finding his dad’s Playboy stache whenever we have a slight glimmer of hope that we’re going to get laid, if we were all suave as fuck, cool as a motherfucking cucumber, this shit would probably not happen. But instead there are probably tens of thousands of us that would gladly dish out however much Tawkify charges to have the honour the be trampled on and degraded.

“So Lost, tell me how you really feel.”

This is NOT who's on the other end when receiving a Tawkify phone call

if you want to learn more, there is nothing i can say here that hasn’t already been said elsewhere, so here are the links:

• In MalaFide
• The Private Man
• Bronan the Barbarian
• Fly Fresh and Young
• Chef in Jeans
• Rollo Tomassi
• Micheal Byc
• Amateur Strategist
• The Geographer
• Ian Ironwood
• Scatmaster
• Robert Stump
• J. DeVoy
• Omega Man
• Invictus III
• BeijaFlor
• Denis Mangan
• Paul Murray
• Leap of a Beta

Here’s what you do — add a link to this post on your blog that looks like this:

Tawkify

Hell, you can just copy and paste that onto your blog. Even better, write your own post discombobulating Tawkify. The more articles explaining why Tawkify is a reeking sewer, the better. When your post is up, let me know and I’ll add a link to it here. It is time for the manosphere to unite for a good cause, the cause of making the comfortable uncomfortable. The cause of Fucking Their Shit Up. To victory!